Monday, July 3, 2023

It is not uncommon for people who have normalized their weight to be exceedingly critical of people who haven't.

 One of the defining characteristics of growing up with obesity is being mocked and tortured by your school peers on a regular basis.  This gets internalized in such a way that we now have our own internal version of those voices saying horrible things to ourselves about our bodies and our behaviors.  This isn't kind, productive coaching, this is just angry, superior, grotesque (because it is now an internal thought process and no longer coming from a bully)...  One way to quiet that internal monologue is to double down on it, externalize it, apply it to others, in the hope that our internal milieu will quiet down, become more positive, allow us to have more self confidence...etc.

This is a defense mechanism.  We were hurt, so we want to hurt others.  A better approach to be more compassionate to others because we know what the opposite feels like.  It is very difficult.